Today is... a blur

This week has been a complete blur.  

The blur of watercolour washes; the blur of two deadlines in one week; the blur of preparing a university lecture...

The blur of my hands dipping my paintbrush into water, into paint, onto the paper, and back again.  

I'm rushing to get some illustrations finished for Frankfurt Book Fair, which is fast approaching.  I can't actually show you what I'm working on, but I can show you my studio table, and my hand, working at lightning speed.

As a token of good luck, I'm using a German mug for my painting water which has a sweet love poem printed on the side.  Hopefully it will infuse positive energy into the project for its debut in Germany!

That's a little snapshot from my corner of the world, how are things for you? 

Be Gentle With Yourself: Turning the Golden Rule Inside-Out

Be gentle with yourself. 

You are a child of the universe, 

no less than the trees and the stars; 

you have a right to be here. 

And whether or not it is clear to you, 

no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Max Ehrmann "Desiderata" 1927

This week I've had to remind myself to treat myself gently.

It's been a crazy week: two important deadlines coupled with a few days of illness.  When I fall behind I get frustrated.  I talk to myself in my studio, and I say things like, "you should work faster," or "how come this is taking you so long?"  But of course, that only makes me feel worse.

If it were someone else, I'd say, "Go slow; take your time. You do your best work when you're not stressed."  

Sometimes I think the line "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" should be reversed into "Do unto yourself as you would have others do unto you."  Or more simply: love yourself as much as you love others. Honestly, we treat other people (strangers, even) much better than we treat ourselves most of the time. 

We chide ourselves for not meeting our unreasonable expectations, for not achieving what we set out to do, for not meeting our ridiculously impossible goals.  We would never dare to think any of that about another person, let alone say it out loud.  

So why do we say it to ourselves?

Next time you find you're berating yourself, try something new...  Hold your tender soul in your arms and soothe your starved, abandoned, neglected heart. I call it turning the golden rule inside out.

You would do it for anyone else if they were feeling stressed, wouldn't you?  So, make sure you do it for yourself, too. 

Your spirit will immediately lift.  

What do you think?  Does any of this resonate with you? Please share in the comments below.

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Cinnamon Shoes and spice, and all things nice

Cinnamon shoes and spice and all things nice, 

that's what little girls are made of. 

I might not be much of a fashionista, but do I have a love affair with shoes. 

When you're wearing the perfect pair of shoes you feel more confident, you stand taller and you walk with more purpose. It's amazing how a simple change, like wearing one nice item, can completely change your perception of yourself and your life. 

Don't you think?

I spend most of my time in my studio with only my illustrations for company.  Since I don't want to get paint on any nice clothes, I throw on an old pair of jeans, a t-shirt and a hoodie (wearing the hood over my head helps me think when I'm stuck with a particularly difficult picture). 

It's inevitable that in the afternoon I'll leave my desk and run up the street for groceries.  I might dash on a bit of mascara, but I never bother to change into something more stylish.  

All I do is slip into a gorgeous pair of ballet flats, sling my handbag over my shoulder, and I feel like my look is put together.

It's the shoes, of course; they make all the difference. 

This particular pair was made by

Cinnamon Shoes, my cousin Frances's company

. Each pair of her shoes is classically tailored (or cobbled?) and handmade in South Africa with gorgeous local leathers. They're stylish, on trend, affordable, and so comfortable. 

The pair of ballet flats I'm wearing is called the

Monica

, named after my aunt. I just love the soft leather and the ostrich-shin detail on the toe.  I can wear them with anything. They even make my painting clothes look good! 

And... every time I think of ostriches and ballet in the same sentence I think of these graceful dancers from Disney's Fantasia. This watercolour is my favourite Disney preparatory sketch, it has such a delicate French Rococo feel, like a Fragonard painting. From

Fran's ballet flats

, to dancing ostriches, to France in the 18th century. I digress...  

{A stunning watercolour study for Disney's Fantasia movie, c. 1940}

Make sure you check out Fran's 

Spring/Summer 2013 collection

!  And, you can get 15% off if you give Fran a pair of gently worn children's shoes.  She will donate the shoes to the 

Nkhensanis kids orphanage

 in Johannesburg.

{I also really

love this pair

,

featured on the Elle South Africa blog

}

Do you have a pair of shoes that make you feel like you can conquer the world when you wear them? 

P.S.  I feel like I haven't been sharing enough drawings lately, so here's one a did a few years ago of the various shoes I saw at a private view in trendy Exmouth Market, London.  

Jet lag and the art of time travel

Sometimes I think that airplanes are really disguised time machines.  

They propel us through the atmosphere at intense speeds, and then drop us in different worlds, different times, different seasons.  

The math just doesn't compute in my limited brain. The flight from Toronto to London was 7 hours. I left at 8pm local time (Toronto) and arrived at 8am local time (London).  Technically 12 hours should have passed, but in the process I lost 5 of them into the ether.  What happened?  

Obviously, I crossed time zones. The brain might understand that, but at the molecular level our bodies just can't compute such extreme changes.  It feels like I've travelled 6 hours into the future. 

And what about when I travel to Cape Town?  No time is really gained or lost, as it's only 1 hour different to London. But I jump from one season to another.  Why is it winter in July?  Why is it summer in December?  

There is so much more to jet lag than time.  There's also the new pace of the destination.  Time feels different in each city and each country. Some places career forward, racing towards each new second as fast as possible (New York and Johannesburg come to mind).  Other places are more leisurely, each second is lived out in its entirety (Italy comes to mind...).  

What this recent, discombobulating, experience of jet lag has taught me is that time isn't just a line that keeps plodding forwards ad infinitum. It's a circle.  It's space. It has width and height.  It is elastic, and stretches and contracts based on our perception of it. When you're busy time feels short and brittle. When you're relaxing, time feels as smooth and stretchy as caramel.

The words we use to describe time make it sound like a commodity to be earned and spent.

We spend time.

We save time.

We waste time.

We take time.

We race against time.

We make time (really, how do we do that?).

And when we're supposed to be having fun or relaxing, we pass time.  But that doesn't sound very inspiring at all.

Do we ever enjoy time?  Or savour time?  

So, in the next few months I'm resolving to observe how I feel about time.  

I want to enjoy the width and depth of each second, instead of only endure the length of it.  

Does that make sense?  

We're all time travellers.

 Each one of us is hurtling through space on this little planet, experiencing each second as it passes and looking forward to the next.  

Trying to change my perception of time isn't about making goals or setting milestones. It's about learning to enjoy each moment, right here, right now, the full width and depth of it.  

This second. 

I want to notice the way the sunbeams circle around the room; to chart the stars at night; to listen to the city humming outside my walls; to watch the plants change with the seasons. I want to lie very still and imagine I can feel the earth spinning beneath me.  

This second is all about drawing.  Drawing people. Drawing faces.  Drawing gesture and emotion. There's an exciting project in the works, and I'm going to savour every second of it.

How do you feel about time?  What are the phrases you use most to describe time?

{My desk this moment in time, annotated.}

P.S.  Of course, this is part of the discussion of chronos vs kairos.  The two ancient Greek definitions of time. Chronos is quantifiable time (seconds, minutes, etc).  Kairos is "quality" time; the moment when infinity intersects with chronos.  Like the moment when you hear the perfect song at exactly the right moment.  Or the sunset is breathtaking.  Or you see a butterfly landing on a flower.  Or your baby smiles at you for the first time... Those moments that take your breath away.  But I sometimes think the definition of kairos makes this "infinity" time too rare.  The moments are isolated and "special."  Why can't we learn to find kairos every day?

Just a thought. What do you think? I'd love your opinion.

I Hear Adventure Calling

What I'm Currently Up To...

Reading //

This summer has been all about sitting with a book in the shade (or inside when it's too hot). It doesn't really matter what I'm reading, as long at it's absorbing and relaxing.  

Working on //

Well now, that would be telling!  I have two very big secrets in the works, one which I might be able to share in a few months and one that will only come to fruition early next year. Hopefully I'll be allowed to share some sneak peaks from my sketchbook along the way. 

Eating //

Fresh corn on the cob; apples; blueberry crumble; home-made chocolate chip oatmeal cookies (the soft gooey kind you just can't get on any other continent... )

Thinking About //

All I really want to do is sit back and watch the sun embroider shadows on the leaves in the garden.  I don't really want to work, or write, or even talk. Sometimes silence is enough. 

But, I have loads of illustration work to do, and the longer I leave it, the more overwhelmed I feel.  I'm going to give myself today to sit and let the breeze play on my skin, and tomorrow I'll sharpen my pencils and tackle the ever-growing list. 

Grateful for //

Time with my mom. Wild prairie thunderstorms. Hot days. Good books. Skype calls with old friends and new babies. 

Anticipating //

Two weeks of travel.  Two long-haul flights.  One 7 hour time change. Exchanging one home for another.  I will be so sad to leave my mom, but so happy to see my husband again. No matter where I am in the world, I miss someone.   

Excited About //

My prints were featured in South Africa's Sunday Times!  The journalist called them "enchanting." I'm beyond touched and excited.  

How does your garden grow?

 {Grandma with her prized geraniums}

The sun is shining, the trees are holding their breath in the stillness, and somewhere in the distance I can hear the deep hum of a lawnmower.  It's summer in Canada.  

It's always special to spend time in my childhood home, but this summer has been particularly meaningful.  Life has been in extreme flux recently, and coming home has felt so healing.  I love sitting in my old bedroom, looking at my bookshelves and dollhouse, and feeling that sense of belonging. Time might move forward at a harried pace, but some things never change.  

It's so comforting. 

I've also been thinking a lot about my family.  I miss my Dad, who died 6.5 years ago, more than anyone can ever imagine.  People say time heals, but they're wrong.  Time does heal the tragedy of loss, but the missing never, ever goes away. 

But... I've also been surprised to find that I'm missing my Grandma more and more.  She died 20 years ago exactly.  It may sound strange, but I'm actually missing her more as I grow older.  I loved her as a child, but it's only now, as an adult, that I'm beginning to understand who she actually was.  And, to my surprise, I think I'm becoming very much like her, in some respects. 

As I remember, she was stubborn, passionate, a lover of books and reading, and she enjoyed the beauty of everyday things (postage stamps, birds, sunsets, and things that were made well). 

One thing she was famous for was her garden.  We cousins loved to play in Grandma and Grandpa's large yard, under the condition that our running around didn't tear up the grass, and we didn't kick our balls into any of her precious flower beds.  I think we loved the gorgeous flowers as much as she did, and were happy to follow the rules. 

Her most prized flowers were her coral coloured geraniums.  She called them "scheena Helena," which means "beautiful Helen," but none of us are sure why they had that name! (You can see her sitting with one of the coral plants in the photo above.) She wintered the cuttings inside when the snow flew, and would plant them outside again every spring.  After she died my uncle David kept the plants going in the same way.  

Now, 20 years later, he finally managed to propagate enough plants to give one starter to each of my 7 aunts and uncles. I so wish I could take a plant overseas with me, so I could have a piece of my grandma's legacy growing in my garden!

{The tradition continues}

Speaking of plants and legacies...  Here is the spruce tree I planted in our back yard when I was in Kindergarten. It's now 25 years old, and taller than our house!

And a little post script, just because Grandma and I both love beautiful things.... 

Don't worry, everything's going to be amazing

What I'm Currently Up To.... 

Reading //

I picked up "To Kill a Mockingbird" again this week, and I love it as much now as I did when I was a teenager.  (and thanks so much for all your book recommendations the other week, I now have a great list of books to read in the coming months!)

Anticipating //

A few weeks of travel as I go to Montreal for my cousin's wedding, and then spend some time with my mom in the big, wide prairies.  I can't wait! 

Working on //

A painting of a Marie Antoinette ballgown in greens and pinks.  I love losing myself in the detail.  I'm working very slowly for a change, and I'm enjoying the zen of it.  It's ok if it takes me all week, I want it to be perfect. I'll share it next week, I promise. 

Taking Care of the Small Things //

  For some reason life has seemed a little off-kilter in the past few days.  You know that slightly off-balance, fluttery feeling in the tummy that makes you feel that the world is spinning out of synch and you don't know why? I can't exactly explain why the feeling arrived, as things are going really well at the moment. 

I have this instinct that if I take care of the small things, then the big things just have to fall into place.  I think that a sense of "rightness" might grow from small seeds planted in the depths of the every day. So, I polish my finger nails, I put my papers in order, I make grocery lists, I plump the couch cushions... I hope that the impact of these small actions will grow like ripples in a lake, spreading rightness throughout my life.  This goes exactly against the whole "don't sweat the small stuff" movement, but I've always been a bit rebellious. If I tend to these small, enjoyable habits, then hopefully the great, grinding wheels of fortune will turn in my favour.  

Grateful for //

Naps.  I came up with the theory the other day that something that might take me three hours to do when I'm tired, would take me one hour if I were rested. That's reason enough to take a nap, don't you think?  

Loving //

The fact that my book Magic at the Museum was featured on Play by the Book as part of a post of the best books for children featuring art masterpieces. There are some really inspiring books on the list. 

Today is... Pink

I am submerged in a sea of pink.  

Pink coffee mugs. 

Pink paint.

Pink pencils.

Pink fairies.

The very pink of perfection. 

A few years ago I was working on a very pink painting of the Queen of Hearts. I showed the work in progress to my friend Ayla . Mostly I had been using Permanent Rose straight out of the tube. She wrinkled up her nose and said, "Well, you know, there are lots of different kinds of pink." 

And how right she was! 

Just like there are lots of different kinds of happiness.  

Today I am content/happy.  You know that warm glow of comfort you get when you're drinking your cup of tea, and you're working on a project that's going well, and the sun is shining?  

What colour of happiness are you today? 

Wow! We're already half-way there!

Wow!

 Can you believe it?  We're already half-way through 2013!

I could use all those clichés like, "my how time has flown," or, "where did all those weeks go?"

But that doesn't really express the energetic mood of this year. Rather, I'll share my favourite quite from the movie White Christmas:

How much is wow? 

It's right between, uh, between "ouch" and "boing."

Wow!

Now, I'm not complaining about the ouch and  boing, they've been pretty fun roller coasters to ride. But it's been hectic all the same! I'm feeling breathless just thinking about it. 

I thought I'd share a few things I've accomplished in this dizzying dash of a half year... 

1.  I resolved to blog every Wednesday come hell or high water.  Some weeks it's been difficult, but I've managed so far.  Now that I've re-engaged with the blogging community I'm making such amazing friends. I know there are a lot of new readers I haven't met before, so welcome !  

Please say hello in the comments and leave a link to your blog, I'd like to follow you too.   

2. I've read over half of my quota of books for my reading challenge this year, which means I'm on track to accomplish my goal.  

If any of you have a favourite book to recommend, please share it in the comments. 

3. After years of portfolio reviews, submissions, and tirelessly trying to improve my craft, I signed with an illustration agent!

4. I barely show photos of myself on this blog, but my face is in print in Get It magazine!  See below to get a glimpse into what inspires me... I think if you click on it you should be able to stick your nose in to read it.

5. And, as usual, I've spent my time bouncing between hemispheres and seasons.  London to Cape Town and back. From summer to winter, spring to autumn. Sometimes time feels very nonlinear and disorienting, but it makes life into an adventure.

Phew!

How has your year been so far? 

Owl always love you

{You can find this illustration

in my shop

}

Here are a few things I'm loving this week...

1.  

Waking up to fresh sunshine after a few days of rain.

 Our living room is dancing with rainbows from the prisms that hang in the window. 

2.

Long skype conversations with my Mom.

 Isn't it amazing that we can be half the world apart, but still share a cup of coffee and open our hearts?  

3.  

My Japanese pen nibs.

 Drawing the old fashioned way, with an ink pot and nib pens isn't easy, but these nibs make it such a joy. They never scratch or catch, or leave puddles, and I get the most beautifully fluid, undulating lines.  No wonder the Japanese have such amazing ink drawings, when they have such amazing supplies to work with!  (The brand is Deleter, which is

such

a funny name for a pen, don't you think?)

4.

Decaf Cappuccinos.

  I never drink caffeine as it gives me serious migraines, but I love a decaf cappuccino. The deep warm flavour of the coffee, the creamy sweetness of the milk, the foam.  Bliss!

5.  

Alphabetizing stuff.

  Yes, I'm an incurable nerd.  Last week I felt the need for orderliness, so I arranged my bookshelf in alphabetical order and then by genre (fiction, poetry/drama, memoir, nonfiction, business).  But, I didn't stop there!  Emboldened by the experience, I went to to alphabetize our spice cupboard, from A to V! (allspice to vanilla...) Is there a spice that starts with Y or Z, or Q? These are the things I think about on a daily basis.  

6.  

And Oh! my heart!  

Don't you just love these photos by Alissa Circle from 

Rags to Stitches

of her children, Katelyn and Brayden, with my prints?  You can find the post

HERE

 with lots more photos and a heartfelt description of her hopes and dreams for the summer holidays. Make sure you pop over and say hi. 

{Images © Alissa Circle}

{Images © Alissa Circle}

7.

And

this interview

I did on Erica's blog.

 You can find out what inspires me, where I love to travel, and the places I call home. 

What are you loving this week?

Letting Go and Letting in the Light

One cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.

Andre Gide

I've been working super-duper hard on my portfolio this week, and blogging Wednesday has crept up from behind as a surprise. 

As it turns out, I don't have many thoughts to share today, as I've been spending every day thinking in pictures.  Sometimes my mind forms sentences and paragraphs, and sometimes it forms shapes and colours; sometimes expressing myself in pictures feels more natural than words (and vice versa).  

If I were completely honest, I'd tell you about how insecure I'm feeling about my portfolio. It's almost like stage fright. Now that I'm preparing illustrations for an important audience, I'm suddenly feeling small and inadequate.  All I want to do is hide behind the curtains and procrastinate by sharpening pencils until they're stubs. 

So, I've been distracting myself with pretty pictures.  We all know pinterest is lovely, but what about all those lovely photos you've taken yourself, and have hiding on your hard drive?  

Here are just a few thoughts and images that are inspiring me right now....  

Let's throw open the windows of possibility and let the light in.... 

{Bath Abbey, March 2013}

Isn't this photo fantastic? I took it on a recent trip to visit my cousins in Bath.  There was a mirror table, near the transept, which was meant to make it easier to see the gorgeous carving on the ceiling.  Instead I focused my camera at the reflection of the stained glass windows.  There's something so serene and uplifting about the luminous coloured light from stained glass windows. I can't fail to be inspired.  

Are you ready for the art of living?

Are you ready?

Yes!

I think I am... 

I hope so... 

What does it mean? ... 

I was going through my folders of pictures, trying to find a photo of myself for an upcoming blog feature, when I found this set. (see below for what I was wearing in the photos...)

There used to be a mural down the street from us that asked all the passing traffic, "R U ready for the art of living?"  Whenever we drove by I wanted to answer a resounding YES!

So, I painted "YES!" on a piece of paper with bright red paint (cadmium red, to be exact), and my husband and I walked down the hill to take some photos.

Several weeks later the city built a new bus stop right in front of that wall, and painted it beige.  

Beige!

 Isn't that just like life?  Just when it feels like everything's happy and wonderful, the world descends and turns everything beige.  Blech!

I recently attended a talk by Alexander McCall-Smith (author of the #1 Ladies Detective Agency books). He must be the happiest, most optimistic person I've ever met.  Every story or comment was bookended by a giggle or a big smile.  One of his comments, which resonated quite deeply with me was:

"The world may be a vale of tears, but we can't fix it by being miserable."

So, let's embrace the art of living!

I'm not exactly sure what the art of living is, mind you.  I think it must have something to do with being joyful in the moment, right here, right now.  And doing the best we can. And being kind to ourselves (and others).

What do you think the art of living is?  

I'm curious. Let's brainstorm and see if we can come up with a definition.  You can comment below. Or, if you're following by email you can email me at: jane@janeheinrichs.com .

In my illustration studio

What I'm currently up to... 

Reading

//

The Assassin's Cloak

, which has nothing to do with assassins or cloaks, but it's a pretty awesome title, don't you think?  It's actually a book of daily readings from famous diarists: Samuel Pepys, Anne Frank, Virginia Woolf, Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Katherine Mansfield, and Noel Coward (for example).  It's divided into months and days, and there are five or six readings for each day ordered chronologically though history.  It's compulsive reading; voyeuristic; a bit like getting into the heads of famous people without them knowing.  I started off disciplined, only reading the excerpts for the current calendar day, but now I'm steaming through towards the end. December here we come!

Feeling Thankful For

//  Time to work.  A chest cold steamrolled me last week, and I spent all my time curled up in bed, drinking tea and feeling sorry for myself.  I woke up on Saturday morning and took a deep breath, the first breath in days that didn't hurt. You know that wonderful feeling when you've recovered from an illness, and life feels renewed.... fresh.... full of possibility... That's how I feel right now.  Which is good, because I have an awful lot of illustrations to finish before the end of the month.

Also, I'm so thankful for the amazing blogging community I'm rediscovering. My new blogging friend, Wendy, has featured me on her blog today.  Check it out here.... 

New Mom's Talk

.

Eating

//  Now that my husband is so busy with the business, I've become the chief cook and bottle washer.  He is a fantastic cook, and I'm constantly in awe of his passion for combining new flavours and discovering new recipes.  It's a lot to live up to.  I've been trying to make meal plans for the weekdays, but I'm getting bored with my standard recipes. Any recommendations?  We don't eat much meat (beef), but love chicken, fish and vegetarian meals...

Please send me ideas, and I'll try them out! 

Listening to

// I really love silence.  I was recently asked by a journalist what I listen to while I paint, and I didn't really have an answer.  I don't really listen to anything in particular.  But I love the sounds of the house: the traffic zooming down the hill, the neighbours doors banging, the birds in our garden.

Making me happy

// Lots of little things: hot chocolate, cadmium red, fresh air, sunshine.  Ellie (see above) is keeping my company in my studio today.  She's more of a fashionista than I am.  Underpinning all these little things is the the warm glow of progress. It really feels like things are starting to fall into place in many aspects of my life.

C'mon in! Let's have some tea.

Hello my friends!

Please come in!  

If you were joining me for tea (or perhaps you'd prefer coffee?) this is what I'd tell you...

Sometimes I wonder about all of you out there, reading these blog posts or following along on Facebook or Twitter.  I really wish I knew you all better.  You can read what I say, and understand an aspect of my life, but aside from the comments you leave, I don't know very much about you at all.  Wouldn't it be wonderful if you could all come 'round for tea, and we could chat in person about art and life and everything in between?  

Well, since I couldn't invite y'all down for a big blog tea party. I decided to invite a couple of my favourite characters instead.  Meet Anne (see above).  She loves nothing more than a great big party, and lots of drawing. So that's what we did!  (You can find her adventures in my book Magic at the Museum)

She likes hot chocolate with extra milk.  I like rooibos tea, brewed weakly with lots of honey.  Her favourite pencil crayon colour is Copenhagen Blue; mine is Process Red.  

And then after our wild rumpus with colour and paper, we both lay down for afternoon naps.  Yes, sometimes naps are the best. things. ever. 

So, won't you join us for this magical tea party?

In the comments below, tell me how you like your tea or coffee, and leave a link to your blog/facebook/twitter so I can come by and say hello.  (Or, if you're following via email, you can mail your comment to jane@janeheinrichs.com)

I can't wait to hear from you!  

Dream Big

"Now," she said, startlingly down to business, "tell me what you expect from life. Fame and fortune aside -- those we take for granted."  

Truman Capote 

(from the unfinished novel "Answered Prayers")

We have been dreaming a lot in our house these past few weeks, months even.  The days have been filled with possibilities, what ifs, wonderings, brainstorming, lists, and many, many unanswered questions.  

The other day I sat in the garden, I picked up a frangipani flower, and I looked at the way the petals fold towards the middle with such architectural precision -- almost like a Frank Gehry building --  and it got me thinking about the nature of dreams.

What do we dream of?  Fame and Fortune aside.  (for that's too vague, and too prosaic) It's much better to hone your dreams, until they have the precision of a laser beam, cutting through the murk. 

I dream of inspiring people.  I dream that what I draw, or what I say, might illuminate some of the wonder of the universe that people are too busy (or to preoccupied) to see.  

Of course, I also dream of money and of recognition (I won't say fame, I'm too introverted for that). But those are all things we can't just dream about, those are things we have to constantly and tirelessly work towards

The dream, on the other hand, is that little pilot light in the soul that is always in danger of blowing out.  Any rejection, any setback, and the light extinguishes. It's the small light that guides our hearts in the right direction, and gives us courage in the dark nights. 

So, to all of you out there, tirelessly working towards your dreams, guard that little light with your life. And then work hard; work harder than you've ever worked before.  Never give up.  

And when life seems overwhelming, and your little light is flickering in the buffeting winds of the world, go pick up a flower, any flower, and contemplate the miraculous universe that made it.  While there are flowers, there is always hope.   

So, what do you dream?  What is that small light that burns in your soul? 

Another Birthday

Another birthday. 

Instead of sharing all the highs and lows of the past year (as I did for the last birthday), I thought I might share a few little known facts about myself.  

1.  The first watercolour I ever painted was of the Dufresne grain elevator in Manitoba. It was a mess of wet into wet washes, but I loved it.  It ignited my passion with watercolour.  This was in my teens; I don't count elementary school tempera paints applied to printer paper with frayed brushes as starting with watercolour.   

2.  I play the piano (almost) every day.  This doesn't mean I'm very good at it, as I don't play for perfection.  No, I play for expression. At the moment my favourite composers are Debussy and Mendelssohn, but I'm gaining affection for Bach. A Bach fugue is complicated, with lots of themes intersecting, rather like life. Sometimes, when I'm upset, I'll wait until everyone is out of the house and then play really loudly.

Fortissimo!

3. My bangs are often too long.  I trim them myself, and it is such a chore that I try to wait for the last possible moment. I almost did it before painting this self-portrait.  But then I thought, "I should do the portrait as I am, today, no pretending." So there you go, long bangs. 

4.  I used to have a birthday tradition of reading "The Little Prince."  The story is full of wisdom about life and love.  Eventually it got to the point where I'd read it so many times that I had the book memorized.  So, now I've started the tradition of portraits.  This is inspired by Rembrandt, who painted 90 self-portraits of himself over his life.  They are like an autobiography in art, recording his changing moods and appearance as he aged. Maybe I can do the same, in a very small way. 

5. A friend once told me that the constellation of freckles on my cheek looked like the big dipper.  Sometimes when I look at them now I think they look like the southern cross.  I'm not sure.  Any other guesses? 

6. I'm ever so grateful to all of you readers and your lovely comments.  I haven't blogged much in the past year, and the other day I checked my stats and realized that there are a lot of you out there! Thanks for reading, and thanks for being such an inspiration.  

So there you are, a series of random facts.  I'm sure, if you keep following this blog, there'll be many more to come!  (and please share some random facts about yourself in the comments, I'm very curious...)

Follow your effort, not your dreams

Follow your effort, not your dreams.  

This is a truth that has been resonating deeply with me lately.

We often focus on what we dream for ourselves. In my case, it's dreams for my career as a writer and illustrator.  Where we are in the present moment is never good enough, there's always more to achieve, a farther star to reach.

This month (February) I have an illustration exhibiting at Foyles Bookstore in London.  It is an exhibit of the most promising up-and-coming SCBWI illustrators from 2012, and I'm very (very) proud to be included.  I'm excited because I'm in this amazing exhibition, hanging with all the other amazing illustrators, but also because Foyles is the best independent bookstore in London.  It's like a literary mecca for bibliophiles.

A few days ago I went to see the exhibition.  I admired all the amazing illustrations, and then I sat in the bookstore cafe and thought about life.  You see, several years ago I had a meeting in that exact spot with two editors regarding a children's book project for a major cultural museum in London.  I wanted that job so badly, and I was so nervous as I was pitching my portfolio.

Did I get the job?  Yes, I did.  But... the project fell through due to funding and other bureaucratic nightmares.  It was going to be my first major break, and I fell apart when the bad news came.

Sitting in that cafe, several years ago, I never could have imagined that my illustrations would one day be hanging on its walls.  

I never would have dreamed it could be possible. 

So you see?  It was all those days of effort, working for the sake of working, and trying to open doors whenever I found them, that led me to where I am today. (Not my dreams)

I still have far to go; and I'm still dreaming.  But I'm also so grateful for how far I have come. And I'm not going let setbacks keep me from working hard, for it's the hard work that will get you to where you want to go in the end.

What do you think?  

Those were the days

I'm having one of those "Anywhere-but-here" days.  You know the ones.  When things suddenly pile up and it feels like it might be easier to escape rather than face the immense to-do lists.

A lot of times when this happens I imagine myself escaping to somewhere I've never been.  Shall we follow Gauguin to Tahiti?

But this time I decided to imagine myself in a place I've been before; someplace where I was really happy.  I scanned through my travel pictures, and hit upon Tuscany.  Our time in Italy was filled with autumnal sunshine, wine, olive oil, and lots and lots of happiness.  (That's where we got engaged, after all!)

So here we are, an antidote to the to-do lists: a sketch of the many towers in San Gimignano, Tuscany.

What do you do, when you feel the to-do lists towering over your head?  I'd like to know!  

Have a great weekend!

I'm off to my creative cubbyhole to work on my stories and characters. I will sharpen my pencils, put on my writing and illustrating hoodie (I really do have a writing hoodie), and see if I can make any progress with the characters that have been living in my head.  

Have a great weekend, dear readers!  See you on Monday!  

Out with the old

Goodbye 2012, you were a good companion for 366 days. And welcome 2013!

This morning I pulled out my new day planner and flipped through the pages, wondering what might fill them.  Switching to a new notebook is difficult, I become good friends with my day planners.  They're never far from reach, and I often use them almost like a journal, not only recording my appointments and lists, but also recording how I feel about life, and what my goals are each week.

This new notebook has no dog-eared corners, no scribbled-out appointments, no to-do lists or hastily scrawled reminders.  It's fresh and clean, like newly ironed linen. It will take a while to feel completely at home within its pages.

I don't usually make New Year's resolutions, except maybe for the constant resolve to keep pursuing my dreams without losing courage. (and we all know how difficult that can be on a daily basis).

Having said that, one small resolution is to be more active on my blog.

I've let the blog lie dormant for the past year, which was completely necessary.  I needed quiet time (read: offline time) to gather my thoughts about who I was creatively.  I felt quite vulnerable, and giving too many glimpses into my studio felt too exposed.  This time apart has been invaluable, and I feel like I've reached a kind of creative epiphany in the past few months.

But now I'm ready to share more of what I'm doing and my creative process.  I've missed all you readers and bloggers!  And thank you for all your lovely comments, it means a lot that you take the time to leave messages, and they always help to inspire me.

And, to start the year off right, here is a little peak at what's on my studio table at the moment.  It makes me think of London, and cosy cups of tea while watching the rain lash against the windowpanes.